Updated: Dec 18, 2018
All of us have hurt someone we cared about. After the deed is done, all we want is for the person to accept our apology. We want things to go back as they were. However, most of us aren't even sure what a real apology means and entails.
A real apology is remorse.
A real apology is followed by silence, space, and changed behavior.
A real apology is speaking less and working on yourself more.
It is important for us to look within ourselves to understand what caused us to hurt someone we cared about.
When we hurt someone, the first thing we want to do is obsessively apologize. Ultimately, that want isn't even about the other person- it's about us. We want to pressure someone else to finally forgive us so that we can stop feeling guilty. We just want to feel better, and that's not an apology.
Being forced to sit and accept what we've done is a terrible feeling for all of us. Facing the fact that you were wrong and caused someone you care about to be in pain is a hard pill to swallow. However, that's what comes with truly apologizing. It's not continuously saying, "I'm sorry".
You should care about that person enough to allow them space to heal away from you. If this is in relationship terms, that could even mean that person moves on from you. You have to love them as a person more than you love being with them.
Remove your ego, it's not about you.